Saturday, ah, I remember when you were a day for my weekend job, or a day or hangovers or a day for shopping, now you’re much like any other day.
On Saturdays my gran comes over. She has her own fan club amongst my friends because she can be brutal to me. Relentlessly critical of my figure, hair and general looks, as she is of pretty much everything I do. When I showed her my stand up on youtube, she watched it quietly until the end when she turned to me and said “Was that supposed to be funny? It wasn’t.” Recently she’s been a lot nicer to me, which I think stems from the one time when she said “no wonder you’re fat.” when we were out to dinner and I told her every time she says something horrible I tell the internet about it and they think she’s hilarious, but I don’t. I love her dearly, but she is cartoonish-ly awful sometimes. Today, she was being nice. She complemented my crochet, she didn’t say anything particularly mean, it was a good day. The best bit of the whole day was when I put youtube’s “Fail Army” on. She and my mum were creased laughing until the “Win” clips came on and my gran was like “well, what was the point of that?” Oh Gran, if someone’s not suffering you’re just not happy.
In other news, I’ve decided to start an art battle with some of my friends. We settled on the first theme and that theme is “witches”. I think I’m going to crush it. They are both VERY talented women but I am loving my subtle take on the subject. At first I was going to go all out, cauldrons, pointy hats, black cats, and all that malarkey. Instead I’ve gone a bit more suggestive. I don’t want to say too much about it, you never know who will waste their time reading my drivel.
Remember the other day when I posted about that weird sex pest? Well I got in touch with the university he works at and sent them the screenshots of our little chat. I’m still waiting for their response, but hopefully he’ll be embarrassed.
The meeting we had about setting up a LGBT+ radio show went well. We’re calling it Tyne and Queer. You can thank yours truly for that little bit of word play. I’m still not so sure I’ll be an amazing contributor, but part of me wonders if that is just my current bout of low self-esteem.